The steadfast love of the Lord never ceases; His mercies never come to an end; they are new every morning; great is your faithfulness. “The Lord is my portion” says my soul, “therefore I will hope in him”. The Lord is good to those who wait for Him, to the soul who seeks Him.
Lamentations 3:22-25 A coincidence is defined as “a remarkable concurrence of events or circumstances without apparent causal connection.” Being a Christian, I believe that God orchestrates things just so, knowing exactly what we need. I do not believe that coincidences happen by chance but rather by God's divine plan. The more deeply I seek God, the more I see his plan for my life. The more I look for Him in my everyday life, the clearer I can see the things only He could bring together for my good and the good of those who love him (Romans 8:28). Not having any idea that something was wrong with our precious baby; March 29, 2019 began as a normal day for me. I was on my way to drop off some things to a friend prior to a work meeting. I developed what I thought was a stomachache on the drive, but God made sure that I did not stop anywhere along the way to her work to use the restroom. The first “God-incident” I saw that day was being with one of my best friends, Kathryn, when I delivered Jacob. She was there in the immediate moments and never left my side until I got into the ambulance to leave for the hospital. God-incidence #2 Originally, my husband was supposed to be leaving earlier that month to go to Arizona for work and would be gone for 30 days. However, someone else volunteered to go that month which pushed my husband’s departure back to the following month. As a result of this, he was home when we lost our Jacob and could meet me at the hospital. He also took a week off work so we could process our loss together. Being able to stay together in the days following brought us closer together and allowed me the support I needed especially in the quiet of night when I had more time to process my grief. God-incidence #3 & 4 When the EMTs arrived and began to evaluate me, I was told that they would have to take me to the nearest hospital. A hospital I had never been to before, my doctor did not go to, and I knew no one at. Needless to say, this only added to the anxiety and sadness I was already experiencing. I had delivered my 3 living children at St. Charles Hospital and because my mother worked there, I was very comfortable there. When the ambulance arrived, the first responding EMTs told them that I would like to go to a different hospital. They said they just happened to be working that side of Toledo and it was only a few miles away so they would take me to St. Charles. One of the EMTs came in the back and disclosed that he and his wife had suffered a miscarriage so he understood the pain and let me know that if I wanted to talk, he was there for me. I will never forget his kindness that day. God-incidence #5 When I arrived at the hospital, I attempted to contact my mom before realizing that she had told me the previous day she was supposed to be at another hospital all day for a meeting and training. I eventually called my sister, another phone call I dreaded. You see, my sister is my best friend and I knew how excited she was with us for this new baby. Worse, she was in Texas, a 20 hour nonstop drive away and I knew she couldn't leave her family as much as she would want to (and trust me, she offered, several times). After I got off the phone with her, she was able to contact my mom who then called me and “just happened” to not be working at the other hospital but was just one floor above me at St. Charles and she rushed down to the ER to be with Luke and I. God-incident #6 Later that evening, my sister shared with me K Love's Verse of the Day: Lamentations 3:32 “Though he brings grief, he also shows compassion because of the greatness of his unfailing love”. Out of all the verses in the Bible, God chose to show us his unfailing love and comfort through this beautiful reminder. It would not be the last time. God incident #7 When our pastor joined us in the ER that afternoon, he shared with us a scripture verse, Psalm 23: “The Lord is my shepherd, I lack nothing. He makes me lie down in green pastures, he leads me beside still water, He refreshes my soul and guides me along the right paths for his name's sake. Even though I walk through the darkest valley, I will fear no evil, for you are with me; your rod and staff, they comfort me. You prepare a table before me in the presence of my enemies. You anoint my head with oil, my cup overflows. Surely your goodness and love will follow me all the days of my life, and I will dwell in the house of the Lord forever.” Our family sponsors a few children through an amazing organization called Compassion International. We received a letter on April 17th, 2019, that was written on March 30th, just the day after we lost Jacob. It was written by one of our sponsor children, Eunice, who is 13 years old and lives in Kenya. In her letter, Eunice shared with us a scripture... Psalm 23. I cried when I read that letter, it was yet another reminder from God that He is so near to us! God-incident #8 A few weeks after losing Jacob, someone from church sent me a message saying she was going to drop off dinner for our family. I honestly did not know her very well other than we occasionally chit-chatted before or after service, and our kids went to youth group together, and I did know they had experienced two previous miscarriages. There were a lot of things that Leah did that had a huge impact on my life. The first being, she called me her friend . It may sound simple but she didn't know me well and she called me her friend, we shared a trauma that neither of us had ever wanted to experience but it had brought us together, she showed me so much love and compassion. She not only brought us dinner, but she stayed to talk with me about how I was coping and allowed me to talk and she just listened. She also dropped off a “basket of sunshine” which included a book called “It's Not Supposed to be This Way” by Lysa TerKeurst. Remember this name, it comes up a lot in the following months. I later found out that Leah had never actually read the book but saw it on the shelf and read the back cover and thought it would be a good book to include. This book has also made such a HUGE impact on my life. I knew immediately when we lost Jacob that God had a specific reason for this, I just did not know what it would be. This book helped me so much by continuing to remind me that God has a reason for everything that happens. There were so many times that God would use this book to communicate with me. I would be struggling with something or thinking something very specific and it would be in the next pages or chapter I read. There is no way this was a coincidence; it just is not possible. Many times, in the months following our loss, I would read scripture verses or quotes about grief which specifically had to do with water. It happened often when I felt that I had drifted away from or taken my focus off God. One day, I was reading the book of Matthew and this particular section stuck out to me: “Immediately he made the disciples get into the boat and go before him to the other side, while he dismissed the crowds. And after he had dismissed the crowds, he went up on the mountain by himself to pray. When evening came, he was there alone, but the boat by this time was a long way from the land, beaten by the waves, for the wind was against them. And in the fourth watch of the night he came to them, walking on the sea. But when the disciples saw him walking on the sea, they were terrified, and said, “It is a ghost!” and they cried out in fear. But immediately Jesus spoke to them, saying, “Take heart; it is I. Do not be afraid.” And Peter answered him, “Lord, if it is you, command me to come to you on the water.” He said, “Come.” So Peter got out of the boat and walked on the water and came to Jesus. But when he saw the wind, he was afraid, and beginning to sink he cried out, “Lord, save me.” Jesus immediately reached out his hand and took hold of him, saying to him, “O you of little faith, why did you doubt?” And when they got into the boat, the wind ceased. And those in the boat worshiped him, saying, “Truly you are the Son of God.” Matthew 14:22-33 As I was reading, God reminded me that it was when Peter took his eyes off of Jesus that he began to sink, not when he stepped out onto the water but when he allowed the storm raging around him to push doubt into his mind rather than focusing on the one who could calm the storm. So many times, I found myself sinking into depression or guilt or shame, but it was when I took my eyes off Jesus, not when I focused on Him that this happened. When I set my eyes upon Jesus, those were the times I felt the most comforted, the most focused, and the most reassured that God had every aspect of this under control. In early September 2019, I began designing t-shirts for our family to wear to a remembrance walk in October and chose to put this verse on the back of the shirt. “Blessed be the God and Father of our Lord, Jesus Christ, the Father of all mercies and God of all comfort, who comforts us in all our affliction, so that we may be able to comfort those who are in any affliction with the comfort with which we ourselves are comforted by God.” 2 Corinthians 1:3-4. Shortly after finishing the design for the shirt, I began reading a new chapter in the book which was about using our “disappointments” to help others and this very same verse was scattered throughout the entire chapter. When I decided to open Jacob's Joy as a non-profit business, I chose to use the same verse because I loved the message it captures, exactly what I wanted our business to stand for, a God who provides comfort to His people and leads the example for us to provide comfort to others who are in pain. September 19, 2019, Jacob's due date. I had decided a few weeks prior to this day that I wanted to deliver care packages to St. Charles for families who were experiencing pregnancy loss. I had asked a friend, Alicia, to make me some stamped bracelets for the care packages and I went to pick them up that afternoon before we delivered the bags (you can find her Facebook page at: “Proverbs 12:25 “a good word maketh the heart glad”). Alicia told me that when she was looking at Jacob's birth information, (he was born at 9:19 on 3-29-19 with a due date of 9-19-19) she said to her husband “God sees her”. When I got home, my sister sends me this text message “This was in my bible study today and I thought of you when I read it”. The scripture verses she sent me were Psalm 139 1-17: “O Lord, you have searched me and known me! You know when I sit down and when I rise up; you discern my thoughts from afar. You search out my path and my lying down and are acquainted with all my ways. Even before a word is on my tongue, behold, O Lord, you know it altogether. You hem me in, behind and before, and lay your hand upon me. Such knowledge is too wonderful for me; it is high; I cannot attain it. Where shall I go from you Spirit? Or where shall I flee from your presence? If I ascend to heaven, you are there! If I make my bed in Sheol, you are there! If I take the wings of the morning and dwell in the uttermost parts of the sea, even there your hand shall lead me, and your right hand shall hold me. If I say, “Surely the darkness shall cover me, and the light about me be night,” even the darkness is not dark to you; the night is bright as the day, for darkness is as light with you. For you formed my inward parts; you knitted me together in my mother's womb. I praise you, for I am fearfully and wonderfully made. Wonderful are your works; my soul knows it very well. My frame was not hidden from you, when I was being made in secret, intricately woven in the depths of the earth. Your eyes saw my unformed substance; in your book were written, every one of them, the days that were formed for me, when as yet there was none of them. How precious to me are your thoughts, O God! How vast is the sum of them!” Only a few minutes later, I opened the card I had received from Alicia. Beautifully handwritten on the bottom of the card was Psalm 139: 13-16. Alicia's divine words “God sees her” rang over in my mind and I just wept, knowing that the God of the Universe cares so much for me that He orchestrated it so my sister was reading that particular part of her bible study on that day and He put it on her heart to send it to me. He showed Alicia that He see's me and put it on her heart to write it the same verse in her card to me. When I sent Ashley a picture of Alicia's card this was her reply “He (God) was telling me to send it to you. He sees you and adores you And He hurts with you because He loves you”. You see, God did see me, and He still does, and He sees you too. He is never far from us; sometimes we just have to look for Him in the little things, the things that seem like coincidences but are really “God-incidences”, God's holy presence in our everyday lives. I love you friends and I pray that you feel God's hope and presence today ~Lauren
2 Comments
Christie McPherson
5/21/2020 12:04:04 am
Thank you for sharing your heart. Your God-incidences are beautiful. We serve a God who loves us and doesn’t miss a detail. Thank you for being obedient to God’s calling. ❤️
Reply
Jennifer Cuevas
5/21/2020 07:54:37 am
Words can’t express my gratitude for YOU and for Jacob. I found out my little girl had no heart beat on November 6, 2019... only weeks after your due date, and when you had started delivery your care packages. The meals, package, text messages from a “stranger,” and love I needed in my darkest days, saved me. I am looking forward now, to seeing Jacobs Joy tough others in years to come.♥️♥️
Reply
Leave a Reply. |
Details
AuthorLauren is the founder of Jacob's Joy. It is her prayer that this organization will bring glory to God and comfort to hurting families. Archives |